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Transparency, Of A SortRates & Fees
We believe our clients deserve to know exactly what they're paying. So here it is, in full, in one place — which is more than most banks manage. Rates are subject to change without notice, as is our mood.
Savings & deposit rates
| Account | APY | Minimum | Compounding |
|---|---|---|---|
| Henchman Checking | 0.90% | $1,500 | Monthly |
| Minion Savings | 4.20% | $0 | Nightly |
| Minion Savings — Shark-Guard Sub-Account | 4.55% | $250,000 | Nightly |
| Ransom Escrow | 3.75% | $1,000,000 | Monthly |
| Corporate Term Deposit (12 months) | 4.35% | $1,000,000 | At maturity |
| Offshore Multi-Currency | Negotiated | $5,000,000 | Negotiated |
Loan & mortgage rates
| Product | APR from | Term | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|
| World Domination Loan | 6.66% | 5 – 30 yrs | Fixed |
| Volcano Lair Mortgage | 7.25% | 30 yrs | Dormant sites |
| Deep Ocean Lair Mortgage | 7.85% | 30 yrs | Pressure-certified |
| Arctic Fortress Mortgage | 6.95% | 30 yrs | Geothermal not available |
| Executive Tower Mortgage | 6.50% | 30 yrs | Mixed-use |
| Shark-Based Weaponry R&D | Prime + 3.5% | Revolving | Interest-only option |
| Doomsday Device Lease | 9.25% | 3 – 10 yrs | Operating lease |
| Moon Ransom Bridge Loan | 8.90% | 30 – 180 days | Short-term |
| Weather Machine Financing | 7.40% | 5 – 20 yrs | Fixed |
| Freeze Ray Starter Loan | 5.99% | 3 – 7 yrs | Fixed |
Credit card pricing
| Card | Purchase APR | Annual fee |
|---|---|---|
| The Dark Card | 19.99% | $0 |
| Megalomaniac World Elite | 21.24% | $695 |
| Minion Charge Card | — | $0 |
Cash advance APR: 27.99%. Penalty APR: 32.40% — applied to accounts that go seriously delinquent, or that betray us in a manner we consider personal.
Common fees
| Fee | Amount |
|---|---|
| Monthly account fee (below minimum) | $12.00 |
| Overdraft | $34.00 |
| Returned payment | $29.00 |
| International ransom transfer | 1.50% |
| Vault deposit (physical gold) | 0.40% / yr |
| Henchman payroll file | $0.00 |
| Expedited murder-of-a-rival review | $250.00 |
| Statement copy | $5.00 |
| Lair relocation assistance | Bespoke |
We do not charge a fee for evil laughs, but we do reserve the right to applaud loudly.
Something to know about our index
Our floating products reference the Bank of Evil Prime Rate, currently 6.00%. Unlike the interbank rates you may have read about, ours is set by a committee in a windowless room, and we think you'll agree that's more honest.